Thunder
by AnonymouslyAddicted
Summary: The sound came after, after the sky lit up, broken into half. And then it was quiet again, save for the rain that was hitting the road as it washed away what was left of the day. Ramble of thoughts. Post season 4 finale.


**A/N** : Okay, so I posted a tease and you asked for more and I really hoped that you wouldn't because I didn't like where this was heading and even now as I finished it, I still don't like it. This is mainly a collection of my thoughts following the finale, snapshots of scenes we didn't get to see that I thought I'd like to. Well, it sounded better in my head. So here it is. I hope you won't be disappointed.

* * *

 **Thunder**

"It's confirmed?" she asked Jimmy, waiting impatiently for his response.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded, smiling. "All clear."

"Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you."

Jimmy couldn't tell, but her voice was already on the verge of tears, of a breakdown. She watched him as he walked away, and when he was far enough she bent down and exhaled loudly, a sob escaping. Henry's hands were on her back immediately, holding her tight, too afraid that she'd fall down.

"Mom? Mom!" Stevie called, panic building within her. Jason and Alison followed and Elizabeth suddenly found herself surrounded by too many people.

"She's okay," she heard Henry say, but his voice sounded distant and she felt like she was about to faint.

With the room spinning around her, and her breaths coming in short pants, Elizabeth untangled herself from his hold and bolted outside. She was right in time to the trashcan to empty her stomach before she fell to the floor and landed on her behind. Her security agents were by her side in a matter of seconds, unaware they were only making things worse for her. She needed space, she needed the cool air to brush against her skin and remind her that they would all get to live another day.

Confused and terrified, the kids stood in the arcade with Henry. He offered them a small smile and excused himself, asking them not to follow. He would take care of her, he promised. She's okay, he reassured them again. He glanced at Stevie before he began walking in the direction of his wife, a silent request to take care of her siblings. Stevie nodded, and he was so grateful that their eldest grew up to be the responsible, mature, child that she was. Outside, he found Elizabeth with her head in her hands and her agents circling her. He could hear her pants from where he stood, and as his hand rested on her back, he could also feel her body trembling.

"Give her some room," Henry said quietly to Matt.

Exchanging looks, Matt and Frank nodded and moved slowly, pulling the other agents to the side as they cleared the path for Elizabeth and Henry. They'd been with her for a long time, they knew enough about Iran and what happened following that short trip. It was when Henry made this request that they realized she wasn't in any real danger, and that their presence was only making things worse.

Henry reached for her elbow, and with his arm secured around her, he pulled her back to her feet and led her to the bench nearby. Sitting beside her, he ran his hand over her back.

"Head between your knees," he whispered, nudging her to bend with a gentle push of his hand. When she complied, he nodded. "Good. Now take a deep breath for me."

Elizabeth knew this drill, they'd been over it when she was okay more than once, and a few other times when she wasn't. Unfortunately for her, she had enough practice. More than she bargained for, but it came handy when she was in public. She took a deep, shaky breath, and exhaled slowly. She did it again, feeling her lungs filling with the air she was missing.

"One more time, babe," he said, soothing her with the touch of his hand.

He pressed his fingertips to her pulse point on her wrist and felt it slowing down to a normal beat. He was grateful for those small miracles then, and he looked at the sky above him and said a small prayer. When Elizabeth lifted her head and Henry lowered his, they found Stevie standing there with a cup of strawberry soda, the kind you could only find in arcade these days.

Elizabeth took the beverage from her daughter's hand and smiled at her before taking a sip. It was cold as it ran down her throat, burning in a way, but also refreshing. It brought back the color to her cheeks and Henry sighed with relief.

"Thank you," they said in unison to Stevie and she nodded and walked back inside. She knew they needed privacy; she had no intention of getting in the way.

"These have an annoying way of appearing when it's the least convenient," Elizabeth said, finally looking at her husband.

Henry chuckled and his hand rubbed her back gently. "I don't think this one was in any way in your control."

Leaning back, Elizabeth rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "We should head back inside," she said.

"Are you okay to do that?"

"As okay as I can be, considering."

Henry nodded. Considering the fact that they spent the last half an hour thinking that their lives were coming to an end; that their _kids'_ lives were ending. He knew they were not done talking about this; that she was in no way okay. He wasn't either. He was struggling as well; flashbacks of his life kept appearing in front of him. He realized then that it was going to take a long time to get back to normal, to being okay again.

He offered her his hand as he stood up, pulling her to a tight hug before taking her hand and walking back into the arcade. With the kids hovering over her to make sure she was okay, it was easier to forget, if only for a short while, what had nearly just happened.

* * *

The screen went dark just then, and Henry and Elizabeth, still holding hands, looked at each other. Alison snuggled closer to her dad, Stevie closer to her mom.

"Is that what happened?" Jason asked, turning his head from his father to his mother. "When we were at the arcade, and you had a panic attack?"

"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "We couldn't tell you," she shrugged.

"How could you just go on? Like nothing happened?" Jason asked.

"We didn't have a choice. Not while we were with you," Henry said.

"But we're okay now. All of us. And I'm doing everything I can to make sure this never, _ever_ , happens again. Telling you is step one." Elizabeth knew it wasn't as reassuring as she wanted it to be, but truth was there was no other reassurance she could offer them. This was one of the main reasons why she even suggested revealing this whole thing to everyone. She needed the people's fear to make a change. If that included her kids' fear as well, so be it.

"I'm sorry I was so caught up with that stupid wedding," Stevie said.

"And me on that blog. You wanted to spend a day with us, and we…"

"Stop," they both said together.

"They're right," Jason started. "This could've been our last day on earth, and we chose to spend it with our cellphones instead of with you. We should…" He sat up straight, clearing his throat. "We should do it again, and be present this time."

Stevie and Alison nodded. "We should."

Henry looked at his wife and smiled. He didn't want a nuclear disaster to bring their family together, but if it so happened to be that way, he was happy. He knew she was too. She rarely had the time to be with them, and she'd gladly take anything they had to offer.

* * *

"Dad?" Stevie asked as she knocked softly on the door of her parents' bedroom.

"Yeah," he called as her pulled the jacket over his shoulders.

"Do you want to order takeout…" she paused, looking from her phone to him. He was in sweatpants and a t-shirt the last time she saw him. "You're going out?" she queried.

"Yes, your mom texted, asked me to meet her at the Lincoln memorial." He shrugged, reaching for his phone on the nightstand and putting it in his pocket.

Henry and Stevie shared a look for a long moment. They never really discussed it, because knowing Elizabeth, they knew they shouldn't. But there was a silent understanding between the two of them – they were the only ones in the family to actually see her in her work, see the power she had over people, the way she moved things. Stevie was unaware of this before she started working for Russell. Now she saw her mom more often, saw how she was handling everything around her, how she dealt with every issue with grace and kindness. She heard how Russell talked about her, _to_ her. And she witnessed more than once the way the President listened to her, like what she had to say was the most important thing in the world. It was when she threw her that Christmas party that Stevie realized that what she saw, this thing she couldn't pinpoint in her mother, was right in front of her – she saw a President. She told her so, but her mom just smiled and changed the subject before she could say anything more. That was when Stevie understood that while she saw it, her mom was still ignorant to what was right in front of her and she dropped it.

In the months to come, however, she did catch the looks of her father every time they were circling this topic. He thought so too, that Elizabeth was president material, but he wouldn't say anything. He knew Elizabeth well enough to let her come to her own terms with this understanding. It wasn't new that he figured her out before she did. He was good at reading her, probably the best. But he was also the best at giving her space, and allowing her to be who she was, to get things done at her own pace. Stevie respected that, which was why she never actually asked him if this was what he thought. But after Neil left, and Elizabeth told them about the conversation she had with him about things that might come out if she ever decided to run, Stevie and Henry shared a look that somehow slipped off Elizabeth. Henry smiled at her then and turned his attention back to his wife. Someday, they both knew, she would say it out loud.

"Did she say why?"

"No, not really. I guess I'll find out soon enough," he said, offering her a smile.

Resting her hand on his forearm, she stopped him. "Do you think…? I mean with everything that's been going on with the treaty and the nuclear threat…"

Henry smiled at her. "Maybe," he said.

* * *

"How long have you known?" Elizabeth's voice was low as she spoke.

Henry ran his fingers through her hair, watching as her head moved with the rise and fall of his chest. There were only a few other things he loved more than the moment when he had her naked, wrapped up in his arms, in this place that was only theirs. Their lives had been hectic for a long time. It had been four years since they uprooted their family to come to this city so that she could take on that powerful position as Secretary of State. Four years since they left their most secluded place, their uninterrupted lives. When they first came to DC, it was hard to find their way back to each other at the end of the day. She was always needed, or at least expected to be available just in case. Her phone was always on, and the knowledge that it could go off at any moment was nerve wracking. But somehow, they managed to block everything out, at least for the time being. When they were in bed together, it was just them, and she wasn't the Secretary of State. She was just his wife, the one he lived with for almost three decades. The one he knew like the back of his hand.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Henry ran his hand on her forearm, smiling at the way her skin reacted to his touch as goosebumps covered her arm.

"I had the thought since the day you stepped into the office of Secretary of State. But I guess I knew when I saw you on Bob Schieffer's show after Iran."

Elizabeth took a moment to consider his words. It had been a long time since that day. So much had happened since. His hand drifted to the fading scar on the small of her back, the reminder of that time. That time when she felt like a failure, where everything seemed to be wrong. He friend was murdered by someone who she once called a friend; her CIA skills failed her as she misread all the signs and was too late to prevent the death of Javani; too late to get his kid out of the way before he could see it happen right in front of him. She was too late to save Fred, the one who died saving her. There were times, back then, that she couldn't help but wonder why her life was more important than his; why did she live when he didn't? Henry couldn't have seen a president in her back then. She was weak, he had to know that. He held her when she cried every single night for a month after that. He witnessed her panic attacks and the nonsense she said when she was trying to find reason in what had happened.

When he noticed that she was quiet, he looked down at her to see the frown on her face. He smiled. "I know what you're thinking. But you're the only one who saw that weakness, Elizabeth."

"Henry, I was rushed to the hospital with a panic attack. _Everyone_ saw that weakness."

"No. Everyone saw a person who had been through hell, and came back stronger. You made that peace deal, Elizabeth. In spite of everything, you pulled it off. The price you had to pay, it didn't make you weak. It just made you human. And it made me know that one day you will be the best president this country has ever seen."

With tears in the corners of her eyes, she lifted her head and looked deep into his hazel eyes. "I wouldn't have made it without you," she admitted.

Wiping her tear with his thumb, he shook his head. "I will always be by your side, but you are strong for who you are. I can't take credit for that."

Pressing her lips to his, she pulled him with her as she rolled onto her back. Landing on top of her, his hands roamed her naked form, his lips devouring hers. He kissed her with hunger that was reserved for those late hours, when the rain was pouring outside and everyone had gone to sleep a long time ago. It was then that she was his, and his only.

Pulling away a little breathless, he took a moment to look at her, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Madam President," he muttered and her eyes lit up. "I am with you."


End file.
